We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
