So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
