dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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