I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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