I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize