I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
