But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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