True but thats because hes a fetus.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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