You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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