my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
