just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
