Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
