a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize