Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
