It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
