it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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