Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize