We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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