It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
