I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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