Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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