I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
