I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
