I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
