The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
