I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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