Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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