I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
