We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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