Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
