accomplished twins. life is a go
He felt like a one man threesome
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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