Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
