it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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