Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
