Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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