well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
