fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
