Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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