yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
