glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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