Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
