I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
