is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
