called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
