Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
