You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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