we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
