that's an acceptable place to lick
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
