Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
vagina is talking i cant
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
