Cold hands, warm shart.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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