Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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