Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
