I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
