thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
