Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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