Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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