Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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