Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I checked into jail on foursquare
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
